Still Breathing
by anundecidedteen
Summary: I would wish that there was no such thing as love, for in my young mind, if there was no love, there was no hate.AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Um, new thing, kind of Dark. there will be sex scenes, but I don't think they are really explicit, if they offend someone, sorry. Review.**

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**Still Breathing**

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My world was not always at war.

When I was little, the story always began with once upon a time.

_Once upon a time, there was a great man who was the most powerful in the world, for he alone was able to harness the vast power of the fearful Ten-tails. This man was known as the Sage of the Six Paths, and with his powers, he led the world in sunshine and peace. There was no such thing as war._

At this time, my mother would pause and smile down at me, both of us wondering at such an unlikely place. When I grew older and began to understand the ways of the world, I wondered if this was why she began with once upon a time.

_Eventually, the Great Sage grew old, as all men do, and summoned his two sons before him. The Sage looked fondly between his two sons, the brothers who loved each other very much, and asked them, "What is the true path to peace?" _

_The eldest son, who had inherited the Sage's eyes, answered his father first, for he was eldest and led his brother with strong steps and a steady hand, "The true path to peace is power." The old Sage inclined his head at his first son's answer before he turned to his second son. "What is the true path to peace?"_

_The youngest son, who had inherited the Sage's body and with this his soul, looked over at his brother who always led him with strong steps and a steady hand before answering his father. "The true path to peace is love."_

_Again, the Sage inclined his head to the sons before dismissing them. _

_Later that night, The Sage was called to the more pure world, as all men are, but before he commenced his journey, he declared his second son his successor for love is the true path to peace._

_Overcome with jealousy and rage, the eldest brother cried out at this injustice done to him, and his love for his brother turned to hate._

_For only the deepest hate can come from the greatest love._

_His soul blackened, the eldest, who had always led the youngest with strong steps and a steady hand turned on his brother, cursing him._

_And so the great wars began, blackening the sky with darkness and destroying the peace of their father's will._

When the tale was done, my mother would heave a sigh, place a kiss on my head, and tuck me in tight, as if to keep me from the darkness of the world forever. When the light turned out, and the door shut behind her, tears would fall, and I would wish that there was no such thing as love,

For in my young mind, if there was no love, there was no hate.

I grew up in palaces on the mountains in what was then known as Cloud country. My father was a successful merchant in a world of ninjas who in his travels around the world worked as a spy for the leader of the Hyuga clan. My father's work caused us to be in the good graces of the clan with the eyes of heaven, and I was raised with the heirs, wanting of nothing.

The palaces rose high in the air, above the clouds so when walking along the balconies, it was as if they were walking in heaven. It was beautiful, yet I always craved to see the world, intently listening with sparkling eyes to the tales my father told of far away places and dreaming of them at night.

As the years progressed and I grew into my own person, it was revealed that I was a smart child and soon, as all smart children do, I began to grow curious of the adults' conversations. I questioned what these names, "Senju" and "Uchiha" meant, but I knew better than to question my father or mother; if I began asking questions, they would stop talking. It was as if my mother was tucking the blanket around me, trying to shut me out from the world, and it frustrated me as a young soul who craved to know the world.

When I turned eight years old, my tutor finally told me the significance of these names, so despised by the people around me.

_It is said that the Senju are descendants of the youngest son and the Hyuga are the lineage of the eldest. They fought as their ancestors had, and the world would not know peace. _

_Some years ago, before there was such thing as countries, there were simply clans. To the head of the Hyuga clan, there were born two sons of the same time,_

I had interrupted at this time, informing my mentor that the children were twins. I was rewarded with a reprimand for speaking out of turn; ladies should never speak out of turn.

_The eldest of these sons had not the eyes of heaven, and his father shunned him, accusing his wife of lying with demons. As the son grew he was estranged from the clan, believed to be the son of a demon, no one was to speak to him, no one but his younger brother. The two grew to love each other, but as the brother with the eyes of heaven grew strong and respected in the clan, the brother with the eyes of demons became hateful, and bitter towards the youngest, who was the father's favorite, and in a fit of rage and anger, he murdered his younger brother before running off to befriend the hated Senju clan, committing two of the worst sins in the world._

When the story was finished, a chill went down my spine. How could siblings hate each other so? Yet every where I turned, I observed the rivalry between all siblings, in the heirs I grew up with, in the adults surrounding me, even in the clan's leader who had battled his own brother for the title of ruler. From this young age, I vowed never to love so much, that way I could never hate.

I was glad I was an only child, my mother coveting her body more than children.

My mother was a beautiful woman, a vain woman, but she loved me more than my father's money, and my father tolerated me. He loved me in his way, but a son was always wanted.

Until the day I first saw our enemy.

I was playing with the heir to the clan, the Lady Hinata, who, like me, was simply tolerated by those who wished for a strong heir. Our mutual struggles brought us together; she was my friend along with only a handful of others in my life. We were playing tag in one of the many dojo rooms. I was blindfolded to make the game more fun, following the giggling that met my ears. A smile spread across my face as I stumbled and twirled and searched for my playmates in the artificial darkness. Suddenly, the giggling stopped, yells and sounds of struggling replacing it. I stopped twirling, and my smile faded as a loud slam sounded to my left. My small body jumped at the noise, my heart speeding up at a gruff voice yelling at us to leave the room. Slowly, I pulled down my blindfold to see five men before me, they were armored and dirty, indicating that they had just arrived from a place below the clouds, but what caught my attention the most was the person lying chained on the ground, not five meters from my bare feet. My eyes ran over his figure, he was ragged with black hair, my breathing picked up, it was clear from the circumstances that he was someone I, a young pampered girl, should not be seeing, yet my eyes stayed glued to this foreigner. Slowly, his head shifted up from the mats below him, and he raised his face from ground to stare right at me.

I gasped at the red eyes staring back at me. Vaguely I heard myself scream before my world went black.

Three days later I awoke in my bed, my mother lying beside me with tear tracks on her beautiful, young face.

My mother was ambitious and my father was not a man of high moral standard as reflected by his profession.

Hesitantly, I raised my finger to trace the wet trail, her eyes slowly opened, the same eyes I had, before they widened upon seeing me awake. I was engulfed in a hug, and my life changed.

In many ways, it was the same, but in important ways, it was different. Normally, when one faced the sharingan, it took weeks for them to awaken, if they did at all. It was one of the reasons why the Uchihas were so feared. When I, a young girl with no training in the ninja ways, awakened after only three days, it was decided that I must have a knack for genjustu. It was also decided by the clan leader that I was to begin training in the ninja arts immediately.

People began taking interests in me, my father especially. I was of value to him now, and I was viewed as an assurance to his future in the palace, a future of luxury.

I did not take particular interest in being a ninja, I wanted to travel and read books, so my performance was below par, much to the frustration of my father, but that changed when I was thirteen.

I had been training for almost five years, I knew fundamentals, I passed tests, I was considered ready to be a shinobi. For the first time, I was able to leave the palace in the clouds, I was able to see the world, what I had always wished for, but it was nothing like my father had described it.

My team was sent for a simple mission of escorting a noble to an ally two days to the north. What I encountered on that journey was death, destruction of villages, the despair and hatred of people who had been attacked their entire lives. I found people who lacked hope. We were attacked, twice.

The first attack was an attempted robbery, the boy of the team easily defeated him, yet I was shaken, more than ever I did not want to be a ninja. I hated this world that was revealed to me, I hated people trying to kill me.

The second attack was made by a group of thieves. The boy died, right before my eyes, and the girl beside me was as paralyzed as I was. Then, anger consumed me. I was angry at myself, how could I just stand there and let my teammate die? I realized that we would die next, or worse, and looking at the girl's fearful face, which no doubt mimicked my own, I made a silent vow that I would not let another person die. I would not be responsible. With this determination, I stealthily reached into my pouch and drew the ninja stars to protect us so we could run.

That day, I turned into a ninja.

The four day journey turned to two weeks as we traced back our steps, lead the pack of vagabonds away from our destination. We could not bring these people to our city, to our home, and we could not let them go free to terrorize more of our people, so for those two weeks, we moved aimlessly, killing them off one by one until there were none left.

When I returned, I was a different person. I was a stronger person, who had a new goal in life: to change this world of war, to protect those who didn't have the hope, the means to protect themselves. I was not naïve enough to think I was the first to set this goal, but I let myself be fooled that I could be the first to achieve it.

As I continued the life a ninja, I grew to hate the Uchiha profoundly, the seed was instilled in me at a young age: the Uchiha are bad, the Uchiha murder, the Uchiha must be stopped before they destroy us, before they destroy _you_, but it blossomed as I witnessed what they did to my people, how they destroyed my world.

I also hated how their eyes would haunt my dreams.

Being of value, I was never put on front lines, I was only used to clean up the mess the war left behind, it was my job to help keep a semblance of order in the world of chaos, so I did not encounter Uchiha. The only one I had seen alive was the one when I was eight, but the eyes haunted me for years. Eventually, I told my mother, and she told me that the difference between the real world and the dream world is that we can control our dreams.

After that, I learned to not fear my dreams of red eyes, of attacking demons. In sleep, I would turn away from the imaginary enemy, telling them that I was not in the mood and to go away.

When I turned sixteen, the truth of my training was revealed to me. I was not trained to be a great ninja; I was trained to be a breeder.

It made sense, I had an affinity for genjustu, hopefully my children would inherit this trait, and what an excellent weapon would my offspring be, especially if they were paired with the genes of the Hyuga.

For this reason, I was married to Neji Hyuga at such a young age. I didn't really know how to feel about the arrangement. For one thing, I had grown up with Neji, he was in line to inherit the throne after my friend, Hinata, and no doubt he would still rule behind her, he was the genius after all. When I was little, he paid no attention to me, when I became a ninja, he scoffed at me. _You can not change your fate. _Then I blossomed. When I came back from my first mission, he sensed the change in me, and our relationship changed. We turned from acquaintances to friends, so I was not upset that I had to marry Neji.

But I was terrified of having children. I was terrified of their rivalry, I was terrified they would destroy themselves; I was terrified of bringing them into a world such as our own. Little did I know, the future would be far, far from my fears.

They would be entirely different ones altogether.

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I stayed as still as I could as I watched him enter the tent. His shoulders were tensed, and he leaned over the table with weariness. I stepped from the shadows with a sigh. Immediately he whirled around, in a fighting stance already.

"Who are you?" The frightening demand stuck my breath in my throat even though I knew he would not harm me. I pulled off my hood before taking another step forward, I breathed only when he rose from his stance to a relaxed posture; however, his relief was quickly replaced with a hard look.

He always had a hard look on his beautiful face.

"What are you doing here?" I took another step forward, drawing my hand up to fiddle with the leather strings that held my cloak together.

"I wanted to see you." As I walked through the tent, I did not miss his sigh of frustration.

"Sakura, it is dangerous. Do you not realize how close we are to the enemy right now? What would happen if you were captured?" His hard voice did not make me flinch in fear. I knew him well enough to recognize his worry for me, for what I could possibly be risking by coming to see him so far from the safety of the palace.

"Then I would fight to the death." My casual reply made him throw his kunai forcefully into the dirt at his feet. His patience was running thin, and I felt bad for stressing him more than what was necessary.

Walking up to him, I placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. His pale eyes flickered to the touch before turning back to my face. "I can take care of myself, Neji."

"Yes, but," He paused, struggling with what he wanted to say, what he felt that he could say. I helped him.

"I know, you still worry, and I for you, but what is important, is I'm fine now, and I'm here, with you." He nodded his head before moving away from me to lean back against the table that held our plans for salvation.

He regarded me for a moment before asking, "What is it that you wanted?" I let out a smile at his knowledge of me and my behavior before I bit my bottom lip, not wanting to tell him, but knowing I should all the same.

"I'm not pregnant."

His head dropped with a sigh, and he brought his hands to hang loosely in front of his lap. My brows drew down, not liking the twisting of my gut at his reaction. I did not like making him feel bad, I didn't like making anyone feel bad. He raised his face to look at me softly, something that did not happen often. "Sakura, it's okay. You don't even want children. It will happen eventually." I sighed in slight aggravation.

"We've been married for two years, and I have yet to conceive, I" I hated this part, but it was a realization I was starting to form in my mind, a devastating one, "I think I might be barren." The word bubbled with tears, and I cursed myself for being emotional. Although I did not want children, a child, I wouldn't mind, and then there was the whole part of me failing him, failing my country. He reached for my fisted hand and drew me closer to him.

With a finger, he drew my chin up, and I looked back helplessly with watering eyes. "It will happen." His strength gave me strength, and I nodded. I brought up the hand He was not holding loosely on to, and brushed a long bang behind his ear before tracing the side of his jaw.

"I'm lucky to have such a good husband." He smirked slightly, and I returned it with a smile. My fingers trailed down his chest before I moved them back to the string of my cloak, and my smile turned from grateful to one of a different nature. "You have been out here for a long time Neji, perhaps I should show my gratitude by bringing you a comfort from home." His eyebrow rose at me.

"Oh please do." My smile widened as I tugged on the cloak, the heavy fabric dropping to reveal my naked skin. Heat rushed through me as his eyes traveled down my body before returning to my face, and then he pulled me in for a long kiss.

My pulse raced at his actions, and I had to pull back to capture my breath even as he began backing me towards the bed. We fell in a heap, and I exhaled at his weight on me. I was already wanting as his hands roamed my body, and mine his.

"Do you love me?" His question had me looking into his eyes. I placed my hands firmly on his shoulders, and did not back down from his stare.

"No, but that does not mean I do not care for you." He leaned down to kiss me once more, and I wrapped my body around him, bringing him as close as possible.

Our marriage was not one of love, but we did not lack fondness, and we did not lack respect.

After all, I had made a promise to myself from an early age that I would not love, and his heart had belonged to another.

* * *

Late that night, I dreamed of the red eyes. It was so real, I could feel the warmth of Neji's naked body beside me, and I turned my head to see the red eyes glowing beside the bed. I stared at them without fear, it was only a dream after all, and I stretched my arms above my head. "Go away, I do not wish to dream of you tonight." With that, I turned away from the eyes to snuggle into the warmth of my husband.

A second later, my eyes snapped open again as I was ripped from the bed. My mouth opened to scream, but a large hand clamped down on it as a kunai was pressed to my throat. My mind raced to find ways out of the situation.

"If you struggle I will kill you." His words did not frighten me so much, and my frantic eyes found the lump of Neji in the darkness. I had to warn him somehow. I kicked my legs, trying to jostle the bed and ignore the kunai pressing into my neck.

I succeeded in rousing him enough to glance back at me. I watched his eyes widen in slight fear before he narrowed them and jumped out of bed, only to be grabbed by two other beings that materialized out of the dark. Fear assaulted me at his capture, and my breath quickened with it. I began my kicking anew, but as the blade started digging into my neck, my husband cried out.

"Stop! Don't hurt her." I immediately halted, and a sob was swallowed by my capturer's hand. I had never seen Neji more vulnerable. His face showed his fear and concern for me, and it did not help that we were both completely naked. The men maneuvered us towards the front of the tent, and one man went around turning on the lanterns and candles with fire from his mouth. Uchiha, I recognized their family technique, and fear gripped me anew. The red eyes weren't from a dream.

The light revealed four men including my capturer. They all had dark eyes and hair, except one who was blonde with blue eyes. I glanced at them all, struggling to commit their faces to memory to seek revenge once we got out of the mess.

"Pink hair, interesting." My eyes snapped to one of the men holding Neji with a glare. The blonde laughed.

"Who would have thought it would be so easy to capture the great Hyuga prince, fucking naked too." The exclamation was followed by loud laughing that none of the capturers joined in on. Then it hit me, they weren't bothering to be quiet, which could only mean that the army, the some five hundred men surrounding the tent must be captured or dead. More likely the later and I had been blissfully sleeping the whole time. Anger and hurt consumed me.

The man holding me removed his weapon, and then to my surprise, he let me go. I dropped to the ground in a heap, playing victim and hoping that I could use it to my advantage. I looked up at my capturer, wanting to remember his face most of all, but when my angry eyes found him, I was momentarily struck dumb. He was beautiful. Quickly I regained my senses, he was the enemy.

He stared passively down at me. "You can go." They must have thought I was a whore. I searched the tent around me, searching for a plan. The beautiful man above me nudged me with his boot impatiently. "I said get out of here." His face twisted into a sneer, and without a glance I got up and started sprinting towards the exit of the tent.

I did not plan to exit though, and as I passed the table, I snatched the ninja stars lying there and shifted my momentum by twisting in my throw. They didn't even leave my hand, in a flash, my previous capturer grabbed my wrist, hitting a pressure point that made me release my weapons, and he twisted my arm painfully behind my back, causing me to cry out sharply.

I heard him unsheathe a weapon and I felt metal on my neck again as he pulled me close to his chest.

"Who is this girl?" His demand was low, threatening. Neji didn't answer. "I will not ask again." My breathing stopped, and my body started to shake as the blade sliced through a layer of skin. Immediately my neck stung, and the sticky feeling of blood began rolling down my chest.

"She is my wife." Defeat. He cast his angry eyes to the ground, as if angry at himself for revealing my identity. Silence filled the tent, and then the man holding me pushed me roughly forward until I was standing before Neji. He kicked behind my knees, forcing me onto them. He fisted his hand into my hair, causing my scalp to burn as he yanked my head back.

"The body of a woman, but the face of a girl, she is young." I glared up into his expressionless face, wishing him to hell. Neji made a jerking motion towards me, but the soldiers holding his arms jerked him back. The man holding my hair bent behind me so I could feel his breath on my ear. "If you speak or move in any way without my permission, I will kill him. Do you understand?" I stared into Neji's eyes, my own hard as I nodded once.

The tent's entrance flapped open and three more men entered. The winter air whirled around them, making me shiver uncomfortably with the cold. I could only see the leader's boots out of the corner of my eye as I kept my gaze fixed firmly on Neji. Tension built as everyone remained silent, and then the man spoke in a deep, quiet voice. "Who is the girl?"

"His wife, apparently." The one keeping his hold on me was the one to answer. It was quiet for a moment, and then the man stepped forward and tilted my chin up with his pointer finger, it was cold. I looked past his head to the top of the tent.

"Hm, smart." He seemed to murmur the comment to himself before his head shifted to look somewhere above me. "Why is she naked?" The reminder caused my face to burn with embarrassment and dread. It was never a good thing if men noticed your body.

Especially the enemy.

"She was in this state when we apprehended them." Again, the one above me spoke. The questioner turned his face to look back down at me, and then slowly, his hand trailed passed my face to finger the ends of my hair, and then he followed the strands lower and lower. I struggled to keep my face neutral as his fingers trailed my long hair, touching my body on the way. When his fingers reached the ends of my hair at my lower belly, he moved to continue his travel. Neji moved in protest, and the man's hand halted immediately.

"Sasuke, who was the one who ambushed your men last spring?" The man's voice was soft, uncaring.

The one behind me, this Sasuke, answered. "Neji Hyuga."

"Who was the one who attacked the boarder villages and killed all villagers, women and children included?" Dread filled my belly and I turned my head slowly to stare at my husband. The hand in my hair tightened.

"Neji Hyuga."

It was like a blow to my chest, and for once, my hard stare was directed at my husband for my husband. He killed women and children.

He fueled the hate of the world.

I was a shinobi, I had blood on my hands, I followed orders, I had murdered, yet it was always justified because they were always bad people. They were the ones who hurt my people, the ones who murdered, raped, ruined.

Never had I murdered a child.

Never had I attacked a civilian.

And this man…

"Who was the one who raped our mother?"

Who I had grown up with.

Who I had trusted.

Who I had given my body to.

"Neji Hyuga."

My breathing quickened in anger.

He stared impassively back at me.

"You bastard."

His chest rose and fell in a deep breath.

"Sakura, you-"

One of the guards jerked on him. "Shut up."

I slowly shook my head, and the man behind me allowed the motion. "You, how could you?" I looked at him with disgust, my eyes freely watering now. He stayed quiet.

"Sasuke, I think it's time we return the favor." My body flinched and my eyes closed at the implications of the sentence.

"No, no, Sakur-"

"I said shut up!" The guard kicked him in the gut, and I could only think that it was the least of what he deserved. My body shook as the man behind me hauled me to my feet. He pushed me towards the bed, and I resisted as best I could. His hold on my hands behind me tightened as he pushed me with more force, causing me to stumble forward and hit the edge of the bed. I reeled my upper body back, avoiding the furniture as a whimper escaped me.

The man jerked on my arms painfully, forcing me to cry out. He used my lapse in pain to push me onto my knees on the bed. His grip was bruising, yet I barely felt it as my body shook more in panic. Suddenly his breath was at my ear again. I flinched at the contact.

"If you fight me, he will die. And then, I will give you to every last man out there." My tearful eyes looked over to Neji, who was staring at the ground. The man behind me shifted as he adjusted behind me, his grip on my arms never ceasing. I couldn't help it.

"Neji." The whimper of his name escaped me pathetically, and my chest convulsed with uneven, gasping breaths. His face snapped up towards me, and the first tear rolled down the side of my face.

My husband was the only man I had ever been with, but I had heard the stories of rape. Of women being forced into the act I had performed willingly not four hours before. I kept my eyes on his as the grip on my arms released. Immediately, my waist was grabbed with a bruising force, and the breath was at my ear again. My stomach turned unpleasantly as I felt him breathe on my bare shoulder. "Remember, you struggle, and he dies."

More tears rolled down my face. "Neji." I whimpered, but this time the grip on my waist tightened enough to cause me to flinch. The breath on my shoulder had not left, instead it had come closer until it was practically the only thing I could hear, I could focus on. It did not matter that there were seven other men about to watch me be raped, my own husband one of those men, the only thing that mattered was this monster's breath assaulting the side of my face, my shoulder, causing my skin to tingle with shivers. "If you say his name again, I will make this the worse thing you ever experience." My body shook at the words, and I mentally questioned how it wasn't already.

In the next instant, I felt him enter me, and I couldn't help the gasp that slipped out in response. It was not one of pleasure, but of surprise and slight pain. I clenched the muscles in my body against the intrusion, unintentionally causing him to groan; the breath of the action ghosting across the side of my face. After a moment, he pulled out and did it again. I whimpered at the feeling. He felt different than Neji. I closed my eyes as more tears slid down my sticky face. He continued with his movements, they were slow, precise, making me aware of everything, punctuating every movement. I turned my face away from the feeling of his breath on my neck, but his hand shot out and turned it back forward before returning to my waist. The bed below us creaked with his movements, filling the silent space, and my breathing began convulsing again.

I tried to make my mind go away to happier place, but the sounds of the bed, the feel of his breath, of him, made that impossible. I tried pretending it was Neji, but it only reminded me that he had betrayed me, and he was no better than the rest of the men in this room, witnessing my rape.

His movements began to speed up as did his breath. His head fell onto my right shoulder, and I had to force myself not to shrug away from the connection. He nuzzled his forehead on my shoulder, and I could feel the wetness of sweat on his brow. The man moved his mouth so it was right by my ear, the sound of his breathing deafening me. I momentarily opened my eyes to see that the man who ordered this had left along with the men who came with him. I turned my head to the right, unconsciously leaning my head against the man violating me, but he did not snap my face forward again.

The blonde man was facing away from us, his back hunched slightly; I turned my gaze to my husband. He was staring at the ground in front of him; his guards were both looking in opposite directions. Not even the men who had ordered this could stand it, and yet no one moved to stop it.

And then the worst happened.

My body began responding. I felt my womb open for him; I felt wetness flow down my legs. When he pushed out, my belly ached till he filled it the next instant. My breathing turned to sobs, and as they did, his hands moved from my hips, his arms encircling my body, hugging it to him. His hands groped at me, and I squirmed in his grasp. I felt dirty, full of filth, and yet as I moved, he held me tighter till I couldn't move at all.

"No. No." I mumbled between my sobs, but he kept his pace, the bed kept creaking, and they kept looking away. "I hate you. I hate you." The words were spoken with no conviction; my hoarse throat was closed due to my crying.

He nuzzled my neck again, and this time I did not fight the flinch. "I know." He softly spoke, and his acceptance of the situation made me cry more. I tightened my muscles to keep them from moving in anyway, the action caused him to chuckle darkly, and I felt more ashamed.

Finally, his pace turned ragged, unfortunately, my body enjoyed this loss of control, and he groaned low as he pushed into me one last time. Warmth rushed through me, causing me to cry out. I wasn't sure if it was in horror, or pleasure. After a moment, he pulled out of me, and I collapsed onto the bed, shaking from the experience.

Someone covered me, but I wasn't paying attention. Mentally exhausted, I closed my eyes and escaped in my dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Still Breathing**

* * *

When I awoke, my body snapped to attention,

adrenaline pumped through my veins, and my muscles tensed, waiting for my next move. Breath hissed lowly through my nose, bringing the smell of smoke and wood to my senses. Carefully, I lifted my eyelids to look through the lashes.

I was in a camp. A medium-sized fire was about thirty feet away, and enemy men surrounded it as well as the nearby area. I slid my eyes shut again and focused on expanding my senses, claming my heart rate in the process.

There were about fifty men all together, and from the feel of the air, we were not too far from Neji's original camp. I momentarily ignored the pang of humiliation, regret, and anger that soared through me at the thought of what had occurred there.

Instead, I focused my attention on my surroundings. I could detect eight around the fire. Ten were in a perimeter about fifty feet around the camp, guards most likely. I could catch just the faintest feel of about three more even further away: scouts. The rest were moving around the camp or sleeping.

And then there was one sitting about three feet away from my head.

Tuning my senses even more, I located Neji's familiar chakra. He was situated on the exact opposite from my own position, a strategy to keep us from teaming up I was sure, and he appeared to be sleeping, or meditating.

Anger soared through me for a moment as the events from the tent came back with full force, breaking through my mental barrier. After a few moments I had control over my emotions. I was a shinobi, it did no good to be distracted by such things at a time like this. I had one mission:

Get Neji away from the enemy.

As much as I wanted to scream at him, hit him, and feed him to the wolves for his betrayal and actions, he was still my leader and my husband. It was my duty to assist him. With this in mind, I turned my observations to my body.

I was covered, wrapped in a cloak and someone had placed clothes on me. They were baggy and I did not recognize the smell, so I they belonged to either one of our dead soldiers, or the enemy. Both options made my stomach swirl in repulsion. Besides that, I was aware of my limp hair, my head still aching from the continuous grip the one soldier had on it.

With this, my body unconsciously shivered in disgust. My legs and lower belly ached from his actions, and his essence was still dripping out of me. I could feel the stickiness of what had dried on my inner thighs.

Taking a moment, I squeezed my eyes shut and prayed to whatever entity was up there that a child would not result from this.

I would rather be barren than for such a thing to happen.

I breathed heavily on purpose once my mental plea was done. As expected, the guard sitting by my head was alerted to my wakening and stood up. I fully opened my eyes and gazed up at him.

"I need to pee." He was battle-hard, dirty and I could see the white scars littered down his neck and arms even in the dim lighting. He sneered at me.

"Fine, get up." I slowly attempted to rise, letting my arms shake as I pushed off the ground. When I took to long, he made an impatient noise and yanked me up to my feet. I was unexpectedly caught by a head rush, but he kept me steady with a grip on my right arm that was strong enough to bruise. I yelped in a high pitch.

He made another impatient noise and led me into the woods a little ways. I purposely stumbled and tripped, making him even more impatient until we reached a desired spot and he threw me forward. My feet actually stumbled across the brush and I had to propel my arms to keep from face planting into the earth. Finally, I found my sense of gravity and stood straight, turning back to face my guard.

"Make it quick." He stood, staring at me with irritation clearly visible in the darkness that my eyes were adjusting to. I bit my bottom lip and fiddled with my hands in front of me, inconspicuously bringing my arms across my unbound breasts to hide them at least partially in the shirt as I feigned modesty.

Catching on, the man huffed before turning his back with a roll of his eyes.

In the next second, I hit the pressure point in the back of his head, rendering him unconscious before he could register what happened. I huffed as I caught his body on its descend to the ground. A thump could alert an aware enemy, especially one only fifty feet away. Wasting no time, my nimble fingers unstrapped his weapons pouch, quickly reattached it to my leg, and I went through the necessary hand motions so that in the next instant, I was no longer myself, but the man lying on the ground before me.

I stared apathetically down at him, deciding against slitting his throat. His superiors would punish him once I was discovered missing. I turned my attention to locating Neji's presence once more. Once pin pointed, I made a clone of myself and went through the show of pushing it back to the cloak I was previously wrapped in. As I watched my fake self wrap back up in the cloak and feign sleep, my lips twisted down in distaste.

The cloak held a clan symbol I did not recognize: a symbol of an enemy clan. Mentally shaking off my fury, I nonchalantly sauntered across the camp, stopping to grab some cooked meat sitting out and nodding to those who acknowledged me so as not to arouse suspicion.

It took five minutes to reach the other side of camp. When I stepped in front of Neji, the two guards on either side of him looked questioningly up at me. Keeping a cool head, I stared them back in the eye, mentally going over how I would attack both of them in these positions, before I casually turned my attention back to my husband.

He was beaten, but that was unsurprising. Tight ropes held his hands behind him, and his mangled hair hung limply in his face, letting the large purple bruise on his left eye barely peek through.

"Hey, where's the girl?" The guard on the right inquired with a jerk of his chin in the general direction from which I came. Anticipating this, I answered quickly with what I hoped was a lecherous grin. "Uchiha-sama wanted some alone time with her."

I did not know how exactly they addressed their superiors, so I held my breath until equally disgusting grins appeared on their faces; causing me to mentally wipe my brow with relief.

"I was told to take care of this one." Using my right foot, I prodded Neji's leg. He tensed accordingly. I was aware he knew it was me fooling these guards because there was no response when I alluded to the Uchiha taking advantage of me, again.

My stomach clenched on itself.

The two men suspected nothing as they quickly rose from their positions and made their way towards the center of camp. I waited two minutes before I picked Neji roughly off the ground. He put up no fight.

"Come on." Leading him in the similar manner that my guard led me, we made our way into the forest, I was careful to stay between the guards' current outposts. When we were another forty feet away from camp, I withdrew a kunai and quickly released Neji from his bindings before transforming into his likeness.

He leaned close to my ear, enough so that I could feel his breath on my skin. The feeling made me shiver unpleasantly.

It was so much like the other one.

_Sasuke. _

The name came to my mind with such distaste that my features unconsciously twisted into a face of fury. "Travel a quarter of a mile apart till we are passed the second string, then diverge West, I'll go North." His voice was so quiet; I could barely hear it even in my ear.

Immediately comprehending his plan, I subtly shook my head in the negative before leaning closer to him. "The priority is to get you back to safety, you head West I'll go North with my chakra spiked just above yours to gather their attention." I felt his jaw clench against my cheek.

North was the fastest way to the palace, so of course the enemy would pursue the chakra signature heading in that direction because they knew my priority just as well as I myself did. The one traveling West would be an obvious decoy, what the enemy assumed to be myself, and ignore it or pursue it with fewer forces.

"Damn it, Sakura, I will not let you be captured again." I breathed lowly in anger, if we were alone I would be yelling, but we were surrounded by the enemy and were loosing precious seconds.

"After having your previous actions revealed to me, I should leave you here without a backwards glance, but fortunately for you, you are my superior. It is my _duty_ that you reach safety." I hissed my words with such loathing that he pulled back to stare with shock into my face.

"You go North, I go west." I simply mouthed the words, but he nodded all the same, easily interpreting it with the eyes of heaven, and I turned to continue with our plan, but he captured my wrist, stopping me in my tracks. His breath was at my ear again, and a flash from the tent was presented behind my lids before I quickly blinked it away.

"They took _her_." I closed my eyes at the revelation, exhaling slowly.

_Her_, the one he loved. My heart yanked for him, for just a moment, but in the following second, I was a shinobi again. Love created hate; hate is what drove Neji to attack those civilians, to rape a woman like I was raped.

My repulsion of the emotion renewed itself; however, I did not give any response, only moved forward. Neji traveled in pace with me, slowly separating himself from my position as planned. Finally, we both reached the indicated spots. I could not see him anymore: separated by trees and darkness, but I looked longingly in his direction all the same, feeling for him and wishing him safety.

Then I spiked my chakra slightly, not enough to make the spike seem like an obvious distraction, but at a level just about where Neji's chakra normally was, noting how the enemy in the distance immediately froze, before I began my break neck pace due west. Within seconds, Neji's signature was lost to me, and my only thoughts consisted of red eyes, pushing me forward, away from the enemy and closer to home.

I don't know exactly how long I ran for, but eventually, the moon finished its journey across the sky and the darkness turned grey by the time they finally captured me. My chest burned as I wheezed with every breath, and my leg muscles were having spasms. I wanted nothing more than to collapse with every step, but somehow I managed to push off of that foot and the next one, and the next one, never letting my mind wander from the thought of a thousand red eyes right behind me, with one face in the lead.

Finally, just as dawn was breaking, when my bare foot slipped on the dew covered ground, I was out of the forest by this time, and I cried out as I fell forward, my fingers digging into the mud between the grasses. My clothes instantly soaked up the wetness from were I fell, and allowed myself to pause for just a moment to take a deep breath before I attempted to push myself up and continue my flight, but a force knocked me back to the ground.

The surprise made me cry out in shock: I hadn't noticed anyone behind me, no signatures or sounds. Mentally cursing, I waited for whatever it was they were going to do to me. I was aware of each one of my breathes brushing my chest uncomfortably against the itchy grass before it hissed out into the air in a small cloud.

"You can dispel the genjustu, I know you're not him." I half choked, half laughed in amusement as I tried to regain my breath from shock once more.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I heard him scoff before a firm hand grabbed my arm and yanked me up. A sharp pain shot through my arm as I was twisted around to look at his face.

My mouth and eyes widened in fear of who had captured me. God must hate me for letting it be him. His jaw clenched as his narrowed eyes swirled, keeping me frozen. "I can see through your genjustu now, so you can dispel it." He snapped through gritted teeth. Slowly, I let go of my chakra control. His grip tightened on my arm, and I whimpered at his touch, still unable to look away from his face, which enabled me to see his features soften to a slight frown at my noise before the pinwheels spun impossibly fast and I lost consciousness.

"There was nothing…"

….she….fucking coward."

"That's enough…"

"…Mother…"

"I ordered you to."

"I want to put her under Tsunade's care."

"You're getting soft brother; perhaps it was a mistake to have you lie with her."

A scoff, "It was hardly laying brother, she was crying the whole time." A chill went through me despite my warm surroundings. I was in a makeshift bed, possibly in a building, but the smell of earth and smoke lead me to be more inclined to say I was being kept in a tent.

"You seemed to enjoy yourself." A slam. I tensed my muscles, fighting the urge to flinch.

"I do not find pleasure in forcing women." The gritted voice made my heart pound. The person's chakra was spiked to a level I had only ever sensed in either a very powerful shinobi, or a very angry one.

"She's awake." At the statement I let a weary sigh escape me. With my state of mind revealed, I blinked my eyes open to find that I was indeed in a tent, the two Uchihas I hated the most not ten feet from me, both staring passively at my form on the bed.

"Now I know you are getting soft for her to wake up so soon." My head hammered with each beat of my heart, but only my furrowed brow made note of my pain, I hoped. I slowly rotated my head, taking in my surroundings. There was another sleeping mat towards the head of the tent indicating that this was not a permanent residence. Across from me, were the two men were, was a desk littered with papers and weapons.

My green gaze stared boldly in both of their eyes, now dark.

"Hyugga." I regarded the statement with a suspicious eye, why would they address me as so? If they wanted information, they would get straight to the point and start torturing me, yet here I was in a warm bed, with free hands, and being addressed by my husband's name.

"Uchiha." I finally acknowledged wearily. The two brothers shared a look before the older one stood and made his way towards me. I tensed uneasily. He seemed amused by this and a smirk spread across his pale lips.

"Don't worry, I am not scum such as your husband, I won't hurt you." Fury made me see red and before I could stop myself I hissed at him,

"No, you just order others to do it for you." His eyes cast down for a moment, and I continued,

"You know nothing you asshole, my husband is ten times the man you are!" Somehow I refrained from spitting in his face, but the realization that I just insulted my capturer, an Uchiha leader, had me inwardly cowering in fear. On the surface I held my glare on him. He merely kept smirking as he drew closer. "Is that why he destroyed innocent lives? Is that why he raped women and killed children?"

My heart stilled at the reminder. Neji had done those things, it was revealed to me before the other man in the tent violated me. "Is that your definition of a man?" I turned my head angrily away. "…I didn't think so."

Yes, Neji had done those terrible things, breaking my trust in him possibly forever, but they didn't know why he did it; though the motives behind such actions were never justifiable. I cursed love again.

"What do you want with me?" I demanded between hard breathes of anger. I was vulnerable and I did not like it.

"All you have to do is obey, and no harm will come to you." I snorted at his words before turning my gaze back to him with a rueful smirk.

"You mean, play damsel while prince Neji falls into your trap of trying to rescue me?" The other man shifted with agitation and impatience. I didn't spare him a glance, but the one in front of me, his brother it seemed, only continued to smirk before bowing his head.

"Basically, yes." I closed my eyes.

How was I supposed to get out of this? Neji was normally smart about things, but ever since _she_ went missing, he had been brash and irrational. I sighed in defeat, placing my hands palm up on my covered lap. "I suppose I have no choice if I don't want you to knock me out again," My eyes opened to a glare and I added bitterly, "or worse." The one behind him snapped his head in my direction. His dark eyes connected with my hard glare. A moment later, he straightened from leaning against the desk and stalked out of the tent, clearly upset, and I revealed in it, wishing ill thoughts on him as he went.

Bastard.

The leader turned his attention back to me after a moment. "Your apparent immunity to our bloodline is strange. My brother informed me earlier that the first time he tried to make you succumb during the attack, you told him," here, he paused for a while before turning around and walking back to the desk. When his back was to me, I allowed confusion to sweep over my face. The first time? When in the world was that? I didn't need to wonder long,

"Go away, I do not wish to dream of you tonight." I sucked in my breath at the restatement of my words. If I had known that I was awake, perhaps I would have been able to alert Neji, and he would have been able to escape, someone else might have lived. I cast my head down in shame. A shinobi should be able to see underneath the underneath and here I had failed, just like on my first mission and the boy died.

The man's words pulled me out of my self-deprivation. "For you to say that makes me think that you had faced our bloodline before, which makes me think that it wasn't incompetence on my brother's part for you not reacting as expected, which makes you a very dangerous person for the enemy to possess." I took a calming breath, not knowing how to respond because there were only two choices ahead of me, one they kill me for my potential of developing an immunity to their most powerful weapon, or two, they do exactly as this man promised: simply hold me captive in hopes that Neji would eventually come to my rescue, thereby killing two birds with one stone.

Options raced through my head. The most obvious one at this time was to get up and fight, maybe take out a few of them before I was killed as well. This option made my stomach twist uncomfortably, I did not want to plan my death like this, and I didn't want to _die_ yet. For a moment I paused in my thoughts to berate myself for being a horrible shinobi before I continued brainstorming options. As if a different force, besides my want to live, entered my head, objections to this first option immediately swarmed around by brain: if I died, there was a very slim chance of anyone else developing immunity to the Uchiha eyes, also it would do no good because Neji would not know I had perished, therefore rendering the option mute.

The other choice was to obviously cooperate and wish for the best. If the Uchiha kept his word, then not only was there survival, but a chance to escape may present itself- much later of course but a chance nonetheless. Also there was a great possibility of gaining useful information on the enemy. Making up my mind, I slowly opened my mouth, running my tongue over my chapped lips once before responding,

"I won't be any trouble." Disappointment of my declaration of defeat and my fear of suicide swirled and weighed in my chest. I felt pathetic for but there was nothing I could do, I was under severe watch, there would be no escaping at this time.

"Good, I'll have someone bring you food." The man then exited the tent and I laid back on my mat. With a sigh, I turned on my side, facing the wall of the tent that my mat was set against, and I cried.

I must have fallen asleep and stayed asleep for when I awoke next, I was in a bed, in a building, with sunlight streaming through the window to my right. Groaning, I squinted my eyes against the pain of the light and lifted a hand to my face.

"Good, you're awake." The voice made me instinctively sit up with wide eyes. A blonde woman was standing casually in the doorway. Her chakra signature told me she was a shinobi, a powerful one at that, yet she had no weapons visually on her body.

"Where am I?" My throat burned from disuse, but I tried to ignore it. The woman simply snorted before drawing closer.

"You are in Kohona, in my personal quarters, in the Uchiha property." My eyes widened without my intention. I was literally in the belly of the beast. How long had I been out for? As if reading my mind, the woman poured a glass of water from the pitcher sitting on the stand by the bed, before handing it to me and speaking, "You had a high fever for three days, it broke late last night." I took the glass wearily, nodding to comprehend that I understood, but I did not drink yet, opting instead to stare at the clear liquid. The woman scoffed this time. "If I wanted to kill you, I would have done it while you were mumbling in your sleep." The information made my cheeks burn red before I downed the glass quickly. When it was finished, I sighed in relief.

Suddenly I remembered something and turned my gaze from the glass to the woman standing beside me, "Are you Tsunade?" The woman gave me a puzzled look before responding,

"Yes, I am." I answered her unspoken question.

"When I woke up before, the leading Uchiha and…his brother," My gaze darkened slightly, "mentioned you." The woman sighed and began moving towards the exit.

"You still need rest, sleep some more and later I will inform you of your position here." With that she disappeared around the corner, and I listened intently to her footfalls until they faded to nothing. Only then did I pour myself one more glass of water before sliding back down to the bed. The pillow was plump and welcoming. I drew my right arm across my forehead, noting that there was still a temperature difference between my forehead and forearm. Silently I stared at the wooden ceiling, not thinking much of anything. With a small sigh, I closed my eyes, becoming aware of sounds surrounding me from outside and in other parts of the building. Life sounded normal here, much like at home when I awoke after a late night with Neji or after a mission. Surprisingly, sleep came to me again almost instantly.

When I awoke, it was dark. I took a moment to stretch, my limbs burning deliciously as I pushed my arms away from me and lifted my legs to the sky, one after the other, causing my sheet to slide down and jumble somewhere at the foot of the bed. Once done, I poured myself another glass of water, sniffing it first though the action now seemed almost as absurd to me as it seemed to have had to the blonde woman, Tsunade.

With a shrug, I tossed the water back before proceeding to crawl out of the bed. I took two steps towards the door before I stopped.

Was I allowed to leave? Even if I did leave the room, I had no idea where I was to go or who to talk to. My mouth frowned unconsciously. If I was to be kept locked up, the door probably wouldn't have been open though. Taking a deep breath I moved forward once more. Reaching the doorway, I poked my head hesitantly across the threshold, looking in both directions. To the right was an expanse of hallway, but the left lead almost immediately to a courtyard. I pulled my head back and turned to look at the small window in the room before I rolled my eyes at my lack of observations.

I turned my body back towards the exit, shaking my head slightly and sighing at myself, only to come face-to-face with a rather large chest. My eyes widened as I jumped quickly away from the person blocking my path, immediately crouching into a defensive stance. The woman, this Tsunade, simply raised an eyebrow at me before jerking her head in an indication for me to follow her. I straightened, and after a moment of hesitation, I did.

She turned the corner onto the veranda that surrounded the courtyard, as I followed, my gaze swept the area. It was beautiful in its own little way: The pale sand, neatly raked glowed starkly against the darkness of the low shrubbery lining the railed veranda that surrounded it. It was a training courtyard.

I turned my head back around and continued behind the blonde woman down the hall. "This is my own personal wing of the palace; you will be staying in the room in which you woke." She spoke without facing me, her brisk pace not slowing in the least. In my weakened state, I struggled to keep up on the balls of my feet, trying to make as little noise as possible. She turned left sharply.

"I am a medical shinobi for the head families, and I also run a clinic in town." She stopped suddenly, and my abdominal muscles screamed in protest as I jerked my body to a stop as well, mere inches from her. I took a hurried step back as she half turned to gaze thoughtfully at me. "If you prove yourself trustworthy, I might allow you to work there too." Too? So I was supposed to assist this woman in tending to my enemies? The idea was absurd and anger surged through me at the thought.

The woman simply turned around and resumed her brisk pace. Tightening my jaw, I followed her. "You will spend most of your day with my assistant, Shizune, and myself." She made a sharp right this time and the hallway turned into a veranda surrounding a much larger courtyard than the one by my room. "You will help us with our duties, eat with us, and attend events with us, at least until you prove yourself."

Prove myself, a glimmer of hope filled me. Maybe if I played their pet long enough, I would be free to roam and do what I wanted. I had to purse my lips to keep the smile from forming. There was a chance I could escape.

There was a much larger chance of me gathering information on the enemy.

My prospects looked up; as long as I assisted this medic in helping a few of my enemies, I could eventually wound them all. A flash of red eyes and black hair presented itself in my mind's eye.

It didn't matter that I knew nothing about medicine.

* * *

**Okay, I know the story is dry right now, but it will pick up, promise. I was totally not feeling this, but it is basically a filler chapter to set my plot up. **


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